Back…100%
Boys, I’m back from Georgia, this time, even with my headspace in tow. Settling back into the speed of NYC was easier than expected, even through a sudden vicious cold and back to the rush of my beloved day job.
Holly is well. I know how much you gents up North miss her, and I’m right alongside you. She and I caused our share of trouble and leaving her didn’t leave me with a good feeling. But I’ll be back in a few months and we can pick up right where we left off.
A few things changed for me, personally, during those few days. Things that shook the foundation of my personal practice, and even the way I deal with the world outside of it.
My sessions are rooted in reality. People who come to see me are usually atoning for very real things, and have real goals to reach through seeing me. Sometimes it’s fun. Sometimes it’s stress relief, but always, to a degree, two steps from reality.
But never completely. I’m not always referred to as “Ma’am”, post session. The “Miss” title doesn’t come with every follow-up e-mail. The sheen of the fantasy does break.
While I was away, I was reminded that there was a vast reality to what I do, beyond what I do privately. Play doesn’t end at the 60 minute mark. And the sensations can last what for what feels like a lifetime. There is an equally intense difference between what I do for work and what I do at home…at some point before I flew out, I managed to forget that.
I’ve forgotten my senses. When I was younger, I promised myself a life of touch, sight and taste. A truly sensual life of divine art and divine music. And for the most part, I made good on that promise.
But I’ve forgotten to enjoy it. I’ve worn sweaters against the first breeze of fall. I’ve stopped seeking new and more intense things to feel and undergo. I’ve shut down.
But I’m back. Completely. Expect more and get more from this baby in the business. I look forward to providing. 
Clusterfork
T-minus four days until I’m on a plane to Atlanta. And in usual Tori fashion, I haven’t given myself enough time to take care of- well, damn near everything.
- I have to make sure that all my work engagements are settled by Saturday. Meaning no major tasks are to be taken before I leave.
- Go to my mom’s on Friday night to pick up some clothes, leftover implements and a book or two.
- Paint my nails
- Pack
- Do that last load of laundry so I have clean clothes when I come back home. Maybe even wash the sheets.
That’s plenty enough, on top of work, sessions and a recent bout of illness. My apologies to anyone who called yesterday, I was in some pain for a good stretch of the day, and didn’t start my day until 3pm. I was anxious for the rest of it and couldn’t work to my full capacity. Hopefully whatever it was that happened won’t be making a return today.
I know it’s always good to be busy, but it may just be catching up on me. I’ve considered returning to dishing discipline full-time, as it allowed me time to do pretty much near everything. But sadly, it’s not an option at this time.
I’m in the market for another job as I feel I’ve done my time at my current one. I really only wanted to work in this field for a short time, and not make a lengthy career of it. The search so far has been fruitless, but I know something will come through.
That’s been about it. Expect more updates once I land in Atlanta. Along with photos of Holly and I together.
Because I know you’ve missed them.
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